I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
