Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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