Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize