your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
