walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
