Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
