my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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