TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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