her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My ass is underappreciated
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
