I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
