worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
