So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
