i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
