i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I stole a fireplace last night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize