He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
