rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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