im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
