Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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