Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
