I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
