sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
