i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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