margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
