Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i need some magic done to my vagina
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
