The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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