he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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