Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
