dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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