It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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