So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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