What did we do last night that was yellow?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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