Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize