dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
