Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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