you mean i was at the winter classic?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
