Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
