Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
