literally had 100 drinks last night.
Where is the hickey?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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