I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
