sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
