Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
