come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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