i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize