The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
