I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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