I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize