Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
