This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
