I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
