Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize