I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
