Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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