Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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