ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
