I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
