check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
