oh god the rape fog is back!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
