It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
