I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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