Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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