She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
